BINGO RULES
How to play
- Gather your friends and pick a classic scary movie.
Mark a bingo square for each match you see on screen. Passionately arguing your case is totally allowed (and encouraged). - Winner is the first person to mark 5 squares in a row, or the person with the most squares marked at the end of the movie. Winner gets to wear the award ribbon for the remainder of the evening, to be reused for the next game!
- Drinking? Take a sip every time someone marks off a square (Do this at your own risk, LOL).
Alternate rules
- Person with the least amount of squares crossed off wins!
- Play as a drinking game - each time somebody gets a bingo you drink, the drunkest person at the end of the night wins. Or loses? Your call!
- Try to get a blackout and check every square off your bingo card.
- Nobody has a bingo? The person with the most *almost* bingos wins.
CHEESY HOLIDAY MOVIE EXTRAS
Movie recommendations
- A Christmas Frequency - Denise Richards is a newly divorced talk show host who has to go on blind dates for her ratings but then, oops!, love triangle with her producer.
- Reporting for Christmas - A very serious political journalists is forced to do a puff piece about a toy company in small town America and, surprise, the toymaker is sexy!
- 12 Dates of Christmas - Amy Smart hits her noggin and finds herself in a Groundhog Day situation where she has to figure out whether or not to bang Zack Morris.
- Holiday in Handcuffs - Melissa Joan Hart + Mario Lopez + a casual kidnapping + major Stockholm Syndrome = this playful holiday romp.
- A Christmas Prince - A spunky journalist lies a lot to capture the heart of a fake European country’s prince. Several absurd sequels!
- Falling for Christmas - Amnesia, single dads, skiing mishaps, Lindsay Lohan, that cute kid from Glee - it’s everything you never knew you wanted!
- Christmas Cupid - A PR exec gets her ass haunted by her dead client & is forced to be a slightly less terrible person & also realizes how much she wants to bang Chad Michael Murray.
- The Knight Before Christmas - A witch sends a medieval British knight to a Christmas fair in present day central Ohio. Why? Who cares? It’s got Vanessa Hudgens.
- Mistletoe Mixup - *TWO* Lawrence brothers + a Big City Gal = a love triangle that’s already checked off several bingo spaces.
- My Santa - One Lawrence brother (the son of Santa) is on a mission to find his own Mrs. Claus but instead finds a grumpy single mom who is really, really good at ignoring red flags.
- The Princess Switch - A baker and a princess switch roles and bad accents and catfish some guys. Two Vanessa Hudgens! Absurd sequels!
Glossary of terms
- Glow up - A makeover in a short amount of time, whether it’s a person taking off her glasses and ponytail or a boring old farmhouse that becomes a winter carnival backdrop.
- Hate turns to love - This square can only be crossed off once hate has actually become love, not once you get the feeling that maybe these enemies will become lovers.
- Big City Gal - You know, she’s got her heels and her designer purse and her big city job and she’s definitely never ever going to wear a flannel unironically until, oops, one day she does!
- Financial trouble - This counts if it’s a single person in financial trouble or if it’s a cozy inn or a speciality bakery or Christmas tree farm or whatever other cutesy business one of the characters owns.
- Attempt at diversity - Basically any person of color with more than a single line or anybody who isn’t straight.
- Truly terrible CGI effects - Snowstorms, angels, ghosts, Santa’s sleigh, you’ll know them when you see them!
- Excessive decoration or food - This is completely open for discussion but probably if you walked into someone’s house or business and thought WTF, that’s probably considered excessive festivities.
- Kid calls the shots - Maybe it’s emotionally immature parents, maybe it’s a kid spoiled rotten but whatever the case, when the kid is telling adults what to do, this box is definitely checked off.
- Sexy Santa - This is up for vigorous debates amongst the group as to what is sexy or not but use your horniest judgement!
- Ill-fitting costume - If you just know in your heart of hearts that the costume was not meant for the person they put it on then you’ve gotta mark off this box.
- Awkward flirting - Depends on who you’re playing this game with but you’ll probably mark this box off for every cheesy movie ever.
- Cringey moment - If you’re cringing internally, you’re marking off this box.
- Scrooge-y boss - Includes bosses who don’t believe in the holidays, managers making people work on the holidays and every other bossly grumpiness you observe.
- Winter sports mishap - Falling off skis, crashing on a sled, snowball in the face, there’s endless options and you’ll probably see them all at one point or another.
- Empty coffee cup - The most egregious of cinematic crimes and once you start looking for it you’ll see it over and over and over again.
- Clearly filmed during summer - Keep an eye out for piles of fake snow and white blankets because, really, who’s got the budget to actually shoot in the winter?
- Love interest ignores red flag - if you were dating that person and would call it a red flag in real life, it’s definitely still a red flag in fake movie world.
- Weird love triangle - We’d class this as anytime there’s more than two people interested in a person or somebody is trying to decide between two people. Bonus points if they’re brothers! (Not really, but it would make for a very fun romp.)
- Overbearing parents - This usually comes to light in cheesy holiday movies when they’re trying to set up their adult children or make them do weird traditions or just generally do things that seem weird for actual parents to be doing to their adult kids.
- Absurd career path - Not absurd in that it doesn’t exist, more absurd in like, uh, I’ve never met a person who does that or it’s unreasonable to think they’d make that much money off that career path. Examples include royal family journalist, holiday cookie baker, interior designer for dogs, etc etc etc
- Zany sound effect - You know when they do a zany kazoo when somebody falls or a big snore or fake clapping or any number of other fake sounds that you know were added in after the fact.
- Precocious child - Slightly different from kid calling the shots, this is a kid who is way too smart for their own good and can usually be spotted slinging one-liners and zingers galore.
- Tantrum over a small annoyance - Basically what we’d consider a Karen moment in real life, when somebody is throwing a hissy fit over something that is absolutely not the end of the world.
- Minor villain - Think about the word villain loosely here, in this case it’s the bank manager who is going to foreclose on the tree farm or the mean influencer who is trying to cancel our heroine or the boss making them work on Christmas. Fair game for fights and debates!
- Actually kinda good? - In our humble opinion you can check this box off even if the movie is only slightly less cheesy than you were expecting.
- Grumpy guy - This doesn’t have to be a main character, just anybody who is way grumpier than they have any right to be in whatever festive small town the movie takes place.
- Sad backstory - Dead spouses & parents run rampant in cheesy holiday movies but any story that makes you feel even a little bit sorry for their character counts.
- Crime without consequence - You know they always have scenes where they’re breaking and entering or doing light forgery or tax evasion or identity theft or corporate espionage or whatever else and getting away with it? That’s what this box is for.
- Faux pauper - When part of the plot is taking someone very rich and making them have to pretend to be a measly poor for a while. This also counts in cases of memory loss!
- Change of heart moment - That special moment you’ve seen coming from a mile away when the person who hates the holidays suddenly embraces them or somebody gets a big check to save the farm or when that hate really does start to turn to love.
- Obvious foreshadowing - When you feel like a fortune teller because you know exactly what’s going to come down the pipeline it’s time to mark off this box.
- Ridiculous Original Song - This one can be tricky because sometimes you have to wait until the end credits to hear it!
- Weird holiday tradition - Doesn’t have to be the weirdest but just a twist on something that seems normal, for example if they leave dog treats out for the reindeer or have a weird dance/carnival or charity event every year.
- Magic - Anything that wouldn’t happen in our real, every day world but most notable seen when holiday wishes are granted. In some special and spectacular circumstances it can be seen when a medieval knight time travels to present day Ohio.
- Last minute party - In a blink of an eye suddenly there’s a gathering being planned as part of the plot and somehow they pull it off without doing any actual work for it.
- Whimsical nostalgia - This can go two fold in which either the characters in the movie are having nostalgia OR some reference or something they do references pop culture nostalgia for us lucky viewers.
- Small town charm - When we pan over Candy Cane Cove or whatever cozy little town and you see neighbors being friendly and store owners greeting customers, you’ve got your small town charm box covered.
- Professional carolers - You know this because there’s no way a random gaggle of townspeople thrown together could harmonize these songs they only sing once or twice a year.
- Bangable lead - Always up for hearty debate and discussion but if you’d want to bang them, you can check off this box.
- Falling in love too fast - Anything under a week feels criminal!
- Outfit faux pas - Oops, the wrong suit got pressed or they lost their luggage or anything else that they get minority roasted for in the movie is probably a faux pa.
- Town elder in need - Whether they need financial help, help setting up for an event, help baking or whatever else, there’s almost always a boomer looking for a young person to take sympathy on them and lend a hand.
- Singles being shamed - This one can usually go hand in hand with overbearing parents but basically if you hear anybody talking about how someone they know has been “unlucky in love” or getting set up on dates - you can usually check off this box.
- Horny parents - You’ll usually hear this with snide side comments but this definitely also counts for horny grandparents!
- Bad business sense - Oh you took out a loan with a twenty percent interest rate for your tree farm and now you’re wondering why you can’t pay your bills and other absurd situations like that definitely fall under bad business sense.
- Inept at ordinary task - Some of our favorites include driving, cooking eggs, baking, making a bed and anything else that you think is pretty normal but one of the characters just can’t quite understand how to do right off the bat.
- Famous literary plot - Everything from The Taming of the Shrew to A Christmas Carol to The Prince and the Pauper are valid for this box.
- Zero chemistry between leads - If there’s no world in which you can imagine the two lead characters actually banging then this is the box to be marked off. Be careful not to mark it off too soon!
SCARY MOVIE EXTRAS
Movie recommendations
- Teeth - The ultimate good-for-her movie where a gal grows teeth in her, ahem, lady bits and then goes on a bloody spree for the ultimate revenge.
- Thirteen Ghosts - Matthew Lillard gets trapped in a mansion with his ghost glasses and has to get rid of the big bad daddy ghost before everybody in the house dies. Absurd & delightful.
- Trick R Treat - The most 2000s movie on the list mashes together a bunch of separate storylines and every scary movie trope you can think of into one of the most sublime Halloween movies of all time.
- Ginger Snaps - A criminally underrated cinematic gem about two outcast sisters who have to deal with normal teenage girl things like getting your first period, oh, and also getting attacked by a werewolf.
- Paranormal Activity - Oh boy, there’s a demonic force in the house except, yikes, only we can see it for the first half of the movie. You either like it or hate it, there’s no in between.
- Scream - Look, they wouldn’t have made 6+ of these movies if they weren’t the epitome of slasher films and bonus points if you make it through Scream 3, arguably the worst of the lot.
- Jeepers Creepers - Baby Justin Long and some gal are siblings who piss off the wrong redneck, poke their noses where they don’t belong and hear an very catchy tune before realizing, ope, they’re in big ‘ol danger!
- Urban Legend - Tara Reid? Check! College kids? Check! Plot twist? Check! This would have been sold out at Blockbuster for weeks before you could get your hands on it.
- The Faculty - Ok, yeah, who didn’t spend at least a little time in high school thinking their teachers had been body snatched. More creepy than scary but anybody alive in the 90s and attracted to men will tell you this is peak Josh Hartnett hunk era.
- House on Haunted Hill - The 1999 remake is the ultimate hey-there’s-a-contest-to-win-some-money-but-we-really-should-have-asked-about-the-fine-print movies. It’s got all your favorite b-actors of the time and plenty of good jump scares.
- Hereditary - This movie is too scary for some of us but we’ve heard it’s about genetics and family things and is really good and really scary.
- Ready or Not - When you plan to marry into a rich family maybe try to make sure that all your new relatives aren’t homicidal maniacs first.
Glossary of terms
- Impractical footwear: This obviously includes stiletto heels and anything you know would be absolutely absurd and painful to wear to run away from killers. If you’re really itching to be competitive go ahead and argue that barefoot is also pretty impractical when it comes to footwear.
- Decapitation: Heads coming off or a head *mostly* coming off, it’s 100% your call on whether a partial decapitation counts.
- Inanimate object come to life: Dolls, puppets, cars, if there’s anything that shouldn’t move and then starts moving, boom, this square is yours.
- Creepy cabin: Creepy is up for interpretation but if you wouldn’t want to stay there alone you can bet that counts as creepy.
- Classic movie monster: You know, the Draculas, wolf mans, swamp things and all other nods to old Hollywood monster mayhem.
- Unlikely hero: If you absolutely thought they’d be a goner early on and then they make it to end or die doing something heroic, yeah, that probably counts.
- Hookup Scene: You know, they’re touching and kissing and then, wham, something creepy happens.
- Somebody ignores good advice: This is for those dang kids who don’t listen when a random town person says “don’t go to that house” or “You shouldn’t travel that way” or “there’s ghosts in the basement” etc etc etc etc.
- Shitty Boyfriend: This one is up for debate but a solid clincher is if the boyfriend leaves his partner and runs way first. Biggest red flag of all time, huh?
- Insufferable sibling: Also up for debate but typically if somebody is whining a lot and basically being the wettest of blankets it’s likely that they’re the sibling in question.
- Non-traditional killing device - We’re all aware of all the standard stuff, this square is for situations like a decapitation trebuchet or flamethrowers or ninja stars or any other things the creative minds in Hollywood can come up with.
- Misunderstood villain: For the instances when, yeah, the baddie is killing people but also he just wants some friends or he had a horrible childhood or anything else where you’re thinking “murder is bad, but…..”
- Evil child: Usually it’s demonic possession but occasionally you just get a freaky-deaky kid who like stabbing people for fun.
- Bad Sound Effect: This obviously includes incredibly creaky doors, fake screams, bad werewolf howls and anything else that takes you out of the movie for a second because of its fake-ness.
- Had to suspend disbelief: You had to quiet that cynic inside saying “there’s no way that would happen” just to be able to enjoy the movie.
- Doomed romance: We’re talking lovers who get attacked, somebody wanting to ask another person out for an unreasonably long time, jealousy and anything else that dooms a couple before they even really get going.
- Sexy bad boy - While this is self-explanatory we need to point out that sexy looks a different for everybody. Cough *the ghost ghoul in Fallout* cough cough.
- Creatures or critters: If your first thought is “oh boy, I’d call an exterminator” then that probably qualifies as creatures or critters.
- Whiny girlfriend - This counts even if her whining is justified in cases like shitty boyfriends taking said girlfriends to dark or abandoned places.
- Somebody’s possessed: You’ve got to wait until you know for sure that person is possessed not just when they start moving in non-human ways and saying odd shit.
- Horrific CGI effect : You’ll always know it when you see it!
- Joke that isn’t funny - Early 2000s horror movies are basically guaranteed to check off this box every single time.
- Sacrifice of some kind: Animals, humans, blood - sacrifices of all types count.
Shitload of blood - Use your best judgement but if you’re arguing think about the amount of blood you’d be incredibly freaked out to see in your house and you’ll probably win the argument. - Bossy leader: If you’d hate to have them as your manager, they’re probably a bossy leader.
- Technology gone awry: Phones on the fritz, cars that won’t start, security robots in malls that start killing horny teenagers - they all count!
- Animal out of control - Obviously animals who get the blood thirst but you could argue for lots of different animals acting weird and sketchy as hell.
- Sad backstory: Dead parents and spouses are easy ways to check off this box but anything that could be made into a Lifetime movie counts for this square.
- Supernatural: Officially supernatural is ghosts and demons and such but if somebody told you about it and you thought they were full of shit, it’s probably a supernatural force.
- Good guy is murderer: If you didn’t see it coming and were rooting for that person to make it out alive then, yep, that’s probably a tell to cross off this square.
- Ooze: Doesn’t matter what color it is, if it’s oozing - you’re golden.
- Urban Legend: You know when the townspeople or kids in school start saying things like, “well, back in 1967” and “I heard this kid died” you’ve got an urban legend on your hands.
- Drowning: The person doesn’t have to actually drown but they do need to think they’re a goner for it to be considered to mark off this square.
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